Saturday, 04 July 2009

• Ups and downs.

  The past week has been like a mini rollercoaster ride. I got to have a mini vacation to the beach Monday & Tuesday, which was glorious. I don't know what I was expecting when I came back though. I walked in and it was like chaos. The thing that was the gut wrencher was Derek kept Sean up and he didn't even seem to be interested in me. He shyed away. I wanted to head straight to bed. I had been having internal issues as well that had to be talked out with Derek and when he finally came to bed, we talked. I think things are back on a level platform, even though I cried a little when he left this evening (of course some of it had to do with me slamming part of the top of my hand into my dresser - ouch!).

  I am finally getting to the point of wanting the house back. Haha. I knew it would happen eventually. It is nice having family live here and such, but I am ready to be just the three of us again. This past January was our first time ever living on our own, just the three of us.

  News on buying the house, we got denied for a small loan to put as a down payment on this place, so it looks like we are either not going to purchase it or try and save up $3,000 to $5,000 ourselves. We are horrible at saving. But at the same time, if my parents can get back on their feet again soon, we do have a place we can get without really putting a down payment on, that is probably about the same distance from Derek's work and is $200 cheaper a month. Derek's sister is trying to find a bigger place to move into and wants to move before her youngest starts school (she is three). She had told us we could take over the payments and live there if we wanted, but had told us this about the time my parents needed a place to move into. The monthly payment is $420 a month. It is a doublewide like we are living in now. We would probably do some slight remodeling to make it something we would really enjoy living in too. It is a level lot (unlike the hill we live on now), and already has a fenced in backyard. The schools are good schools. And she could tell us how much everything normally runs for them, so we could budget for it. Which the extra $200 we would have a month would be awesome. I am rather excited if everything goes that way. I love their kitchen too. It is better laid out than our little boxed-in kitchen. Hehe. But of course I am not getting my hopes up, just upping the house we may move into some.

  I have learned lately that I need to quit expecting, quite so much. I get excited or anticipate certain things and they never happen. It upsets me and then I am in a pissy mood for a few hours until I get cheered up or fall asleep. It is something else I am going to try and work on.

  Tomorrow we may ride with some friends down to the beach and watch the fireworks. Since Derek isn't here this weekend (went to visit some Marine buddies up in NC for the weekend), I am kind of open to anything anyone is doing, as long as Sean can tag along. I definitely won't be partying, haha, not like I do that anyways. I hope Sean enjoys the fireworks. While I was out picking up a new wireless internet connector (our old one finally died a few days ago), one of our neighbors decided to shoot off some fireworks and my mom said it woke him up to the point he was crying. Poor lil' man.

  But I am off to re-decorate my nails for tomorrow (I was wet-sanding my fender for the car today and the paint on my nails chipped of bad). I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Fourth of July!

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